294 - Do Your Work so You Can Show Up in Friendship with Mishara D. Winston and Christina Michelle Watkins

Aug 6

“For the love of God, whether you lean anxious or avoidant, let somebody love you.” - Mishara D. Winston

I hate to break it to you, but friendships require effort. Actually, I’m happy to pass that info on! Y’all know how much I love discussing and doing “the work,” even when that assignment is painful. But, how does “the work” manifest in a platonic friendship?

Part Two of the conversation between Mishara D. Winston and Christina Michelle Watkins delves into the realities of authentic connection––notably, how we take responsibility for our attachment styles and our roles in a healthy rift-and-repair process. That’s “the work.”

If you haven’t already done so, check out Part One. You’ll not only learn why I opted to play audience member instead of host for this pair of episodes, but also why I consider these humans to be such a beautiful representation of radical healing in partnership rather than isolation.

Mishara is a strategic mental wellness consultant, coach, and pleasure-based therapist who designs healing experiences rooted in play, sensory connection, and ancestral wisdom. Christina Michelle is a Black, queer, neuroexpansive mystic artist and therapist whose work blends story, spirit, and relational care to help communities imagine new ways of being.

“The work” is a significant theme in this episode. However, Christina Michelle, who cites codependence as her learned attachment style, confides that she and Mishara (a recovering counterdependent) didn’t articulate what doing it entails. I agree. Instead, they show us, modeling thoughtful verbal acknowledgements and wordless support. Trust me on the latter; there’s an energy vibrating between the pair that transcends language.

“I wouldn't say our relationship takes work. It takes intention,” observes Christina Michelle. I disagree, if only because the pair has addressed their individual wounds outside of the relationship.

“Part of your work is, like, what steps do I need to take so that I can normalize letting people love me?” says Mishara. “When we don't do our own work, we also talk about other people's projects, what they need to do on themselves, and how they need to get their life together. It's an intoxicating opportunity to get involved with saving everyone else so that we don't have to care for ourselves.”

As I mentioned earlier, friendships require effort, and the work starts with you.

RECOMMENDED EPISODES

Mishara Winston - A Model for Communal Mental Wellness

Mishara Winston - Eat Snacks/Take Naps

Christina Watkins - Decolonizing Therapy, Reclaiming Agency, Nurturing Reciprocity

GUEST CONTACT & BIO

Mishara Winston

Mishara D. Winston is a strategic mental wellness consultant, coach, and pleasure-based therapist with over 18 years in the field. She helps communities design healing experiences rooted in play, sensory connection, and self-compassion. Her work blends body-honesty, ancestral wisdom, and a deep belief in collective healing.

Christina Michelle Watkins

Christina Michelle Watkins is a Black, queer, neuroexpansive mystic artist and therapist who weaves story, spirit, and care into all she does. As a writer, performer, Tarot reader, and Licensed Clinical Social Worker, she supports individuals, groups, and communities in building connection, navigating transition, and imagining new ways of being. She finds joy in thunderstorms, dancing, and talking about popsicles for entirely too long.
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